On the Matter of Shattered Glass and Shattered Dreams

To Whom It May Concern at the House of Musk,

Word has reached even my distant dimension that you recently unveiled a “Cybertruck”—a brutish, angular vehicle crafted from what appears to be recycled artillery. You proclaimed its windows to be “armored” and “unbreakable,” only to promptly hurl a metallic sphere at them and witness—before a captivated audience—their immediate and catastrophic failure.

Sir, allow me to state, with the full weight of electromagnetism behind me: I once conducted demonstrations involving lightning storms indoors, and not once did the ceiling cave in.

It is one thing to make a boast. It is quite another to test said boast with a lead projectile in front of investors and newsmen. Had I done so with one of my coils, I would have been forcibly escorted from the premises by men in long coats.

Your contraption looks as if it were designed by a child given a protractor and vengeance. Its windows, I now understand, were made of hope and hubris.

Should you wish to test “unbreakable” in earnest, I would gladly send down a bolt or two.

In skepticism and static,

Nikola Tesla

New York City, Eternity